The worst of all, Hes so Unforgiven, if we have misunderstanding ill sent a text of apology, after that ill try to call him, but, he wont pickup on several occasions. I just dont know if Im asking for too much or if hes just making up excuses. Meaning if he doesnt step up when you pull back. But in the last month, I have noticed that I am always initiating meeting with him, and he would suggest in the very same day or at the spare of the moment for me to pass by his place and we end up spending 2 hours or so with each other having sex and then I leave because one of us has a commitment. We are ok, but I still do everything, I cook everything, he never cooks for me, I clean, washing, I get the shopping, he wont even take the bins out when I ask, because of my approach apparently. even on weekends, hes always busy. He should be making an effort to see u, call u , and text you throughout the day. The only time hes gotten me flowers was when I left him one time. I used to think eventually wed work through the kinks and finally stop arguing. Im an emotional person but I always try to talk and let him know Im upset so that he knows not to act a certain way. Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years now, i love him and I know he loves me back but, my biggest insecurity is him changing and being lazy in the relationship, which I have noticed he has been doing lately. The same month, I started my PhD program but I still made the time to see him. He Wants You To Approach Him First. About 2 weeks or so after, I voiced my concerns again about his lack of effort in making quality time. I dont know what he wants from me. Sometimes even i dont get it,If im asking for too much. He drinks constantly. So accept that it will be hard, cry about it for a week or two and try to move on with your life and realize that you deserved so much better then that pos. So my boyfriend and I been dating a little over a year now and I feel like with him its just a chore to hang out with me. I take it very personally and feel disrespected by this, alone, that he has such little respect for my comfort or opinion of him he just doesnt bother but he will shower and shave and brush his hair even to go get a haircut. Honestly he may need some space. He lost his dad, my nana nearly died and now needs constant care then her partner died and now this lockdown. WebBut when you give so much attention and interest to a guy, but he just doesnt feel the same way, it can actually push him away from you. Weve been dating a little over a year. I decided to pull back and just sit and watch. This is hard for me because Ive always been a helpless romantic, and Im always doing little cute things for him, not because I expect it in return but because I genuinely want to. That way, I can assure two things. Ironic the 6th year anniversary I spoke of then is on Monday and we were supposed to be celebrating by going to the place we went on our first date tomorrow, instead, because they arent open on Mondays. 6 Ways to Revive Your Relationship. Be happy with you. No updates or goodnight/ goodmorning texts.The thing is, I get worried easily.I didnt wanna bother him cause I knew he could get pretty busy with chores at home and his fam is kinda strict on exposure to electrical gadgets so he doesnt want to be on his phone much when hes with them. He Finds Your Attention Diverted. Let YOU be your super woman! That also means i cant get a job either. i refused saying that I am already busy, in which I am and I told him quit rankly i need you to plan before hand and so we can both be free. This guy never learned to be a good partner, and it sounds like he doesnt know how to try now, either. I am often not successful but I realized in the last 1-2 years, it is him. The truth is that there are a number of reasons that could cause your partner to check out emotionally. Just stay silent. Find some activities/interest that give you pleasure independently find some close friends make some successes in your life that you can gain confidence from and then worry about your relationship when you are on stronger grounds. She saw me with his hat and questioned me and i told her i got it from my best friend and she knew i was lying but didnt care. Not texting me as often, not asking when we are going to hangout again. To never have to apologize to me, to never have compassion, to never find contentment, to never make up for hurting me, to never stop enjoying it. Over the past 2 months something changed. But i couldnt regain my trust for him again. kissing, hugging, sex, cuddling, EVERYTHING! Im still waiting on unemployed from when I lost my ft job in Sept. My tuition for spring is late. Whereas if I was in his situation I would just leave (not during the lockdown). Soon realizing i wasnt going to come back to where i met him i tried to break it off. But yeah, we talk more and sometimes I struggle to text back too since I work full time now! So hes stopped making an effort because it doesnt matter. It was great for a few months, but now the lock down is over (here in Europe) I feel like hes starting to make less effort again, prioritizing sports and friends again. He chose to try with his ex leaving me broken hearted but we remained friends. He is a nice guy as a whole but its the fact he went out of his way for me a handful of times that gave me a little hope in this sudden realization of my feelings but recently he has completely shut me out. he again skipped it. ?pretty much hurts and also my first. Another thing that bothers me is he will ask me about my day or some other question, then when I answer, he switches the subject back to himself. Because i often say this to him when i get angry. Last week,for like 2/3 days hes been quiet and inactive. I get Fridays and the weekend which I use to do an my studying, school work, exercise, self care, etc. He dosnt wnt to sex i know that well. HE ALWAYS FORGETS. Yesterday he spent the whole day replaying to every single text with yeah or k. He is a freeloader. Like thank you for ruining an otherwise nice day/evening because I did not answer you the correct way when you asked if I refilled the ice tray. It is too immature an attitude for a 56 year old intelligent man. I dont think he will change. My friend found someone perfect really quickly on Tinder 3 years ago, and they just got married in November. First I asked him if we could level up our relationship through meeting his and my family. I just dont feel like a priority any more. Hes now begging for me back , saying hes going to change. That said, he told me hes doing a lot better now and hes still acting distant. So i get back from fall break and i zoom him.hes acting different and grumpy and meanhe told me he was moving back to his home state and never coming backI started balling my eyes out I was so confused. Im still dissatisfied I guess. its been 10 days now and he havent ask me out, during these 10 days when he says i miss you or i say i miss, he would ask me to meet at his place for couple of hours (again at the spare of the moment). It breaks my heart not talking to him and hearing about his day but I know this was for the best. He doesnt ever say I love you first, he doesnt hold my hand, the most hell ever do on his own is give me a kiss here and there and theyre quick pecks. I didnt see him so I thought maybe he didnt want to show up. After his birthday he left his sisters and moved in with his mom. I was heart broken. If your self-image is shattered because your boyfriend stopped making an effort, then youre expecting too much from him. The point is if a man cares enough about his future wife and son would he want them to be safe and help them move to become a family.. Kiki, I do not like what you said about being the one who travels back and forth. HE NEVER CLEANS. Hes sees things in one paranoid way only, that Im selfish and dont really love him and just like the things he can give me. Sometimes I dont talk to see if hell bring anything up, and the silence is too awkward and long that I give in and say something else. Its been hard but there are better things to come. I realized how I stopped wearing some clothes because he didnt like them, for example. everything stopped. Heres my concern-We live 70kms apart amd stick to phone calls and texts and online communication. Even after arising that issue betwn us, he didnt make any efforrs to regain my trust for him. Things are getting better as we learn about his condition and learn the tools to manage conflicts between us. Ive bin going through a similar situation with a guy. But now everything is so plain and horrible. He just had to show up with his stuff. Our plan for celebrating our anniversary like its nothing? I have to fix myself and thats the problem with people now adays. He doesnt call me much. Everything is done ON PURPOSE to stick a fork in his eye like youre not that important, sorry. Hes very sweet and affectionate, so I dont believe its due to him not liking me anymore, but it really confuses me and stresses me out. But I really wanted to build connections to his family because aside from him, I dont know anybody. He is so passive. This guy isnt my boyfriend but we met in a way that would almost seen like fate. Now if I even suggest or hint at sex it is another argument. You dont have to change your personality, but you may need to change your expectations. When I ask whats wrong my boyfriend bites my head off, shouts at me, tells me Im just trying to cause trouble when Im totally calm and just asking a question. We fight a lot almost every week because my needs are not met. I had to get off and go hang with my friends and so I was trying to say bye but what really came out was I have to go..I love you..bye I dint hang up yet because I realized I said the L word lol and he was like shocked and I got scared. Hes just happy having me in his life because Im supportive and loving but I dont see much effort on his side except when he really wants to do things he really likes. Also, find some time to do something that you enjoy. Which actually does NOT suck because I was married for 24 years and I dont miss having to make sure someone eats supper, has clean clothes, etc. If you succumb to what you wish your relationship and boyfriend was, then youll find yourself begging or manipulating your boyfriend into making an effort in your relationship. That was on Friday. I love him very much, he often talks about our future, kids and stuff but he isnt willing to do any sacrifices for the relationship. I feel lonely and he NEVER wants to go out or do anything. I talk about this with him. Every time I ask, he gets upset, and starts an argument, so why do I bother? What did you end up doing ? And thats is the absolute best you can do. He is perfect to me but like anyone else comes with problems. On the other hand, if your man is more independent and hes not used I do really love him even we just got together. I dont know what to do or how to feel.. Im trying to figure out if its his depression thats making him stress to make more money as well as not doing anyrhjng for me or the home we live in, or if he truly doesnt care for me or my feelings and Im just here for the mean time to do things for him? So I stated being more involved in his hubbies then usual and listening. I already had plans and I put a hold on being too available. He does spend time with us and financially he is very supportive which Im great full for. Hi im kushi, 25yrs old.. My boyfriend and I have been in our relationship for 3yrs now.. Seriously WTF? But he feels that I would have a better chance getting a job were he lives then him getting a Job where I live but thats not the point. Rather than jumping to conclusions, have a conversation with your partner and ask them what's been on their mind and the reasons for their apparent loss of interest. My birthday weekend was really rough. Me and my boyfriend have been together for more than a year now and I feel like lately he doesnt make any effort to spend time with me. I would break up and then we would make up. he said he had been trying to email me but i dont rlly believe it I never got anything. He Thinks You Are Bored. Ive been with my bf for a year & half but we have past history. We must set boundaries and stick to them so we dont keep ending up here! He Is Bored. While he was living with his mom he got a job and was so focused on that..he didnt talk to me as much anymore. Id rather focus my energy on someone who can! But I feel as though he does not see the page that I am on, is there any way I can do that without it being an argument? Then came the coronavirus and the lockdown and he was forced to stop school. Ive been with my boyfriend since July of 2020. Its going to make me fall out of love as he is so defensive and cannot solve the issue. I havent felt loved in so long and ever since we started doing long distance, I feel like Im always putting in effort to do a lot of small things for him just to cheer him up but he doesnt think about doing anything special for me. Im ready to just get out of this soon. They may not come true. The first date was half a year into our relationship at an Italian restaurant. He did call me every morning like he said for a week. BUT both have to put in the work and if its not happening the work then its not happening and we are settling. it breaks my heart that despite all my efforts still i been judged as a selfish gf. Im dating this guy for 3 years now. He felt his place was his and he wanted to keep his place sacred and clean! Life is too short to waste it being miserable and stressed out and fighting over stupid shit. I dont do things just to expect it in return but you just want reassurance that youre appreciated. I love him to death, and I know he loves me. I am actually tearing up as I type those words, he actually said that to me. But I just dont have enough energy to even cry sometimes. Im still in high school. He never, ever in our relationship posted pictures of us on social media. Im 53, he is 51. After that we were so in love and we talked all the time everyday. I want to stress that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG by vocalizing your needs and something you crave in a relationship. I would appreciate any advice! I mentioned it many times, cant wait to get home and eat what youve made & have dinner with you! I just see so many girls that have boyfriends who do so much to keep them happy, it just feels like my boyfriend stopped trying. Then once the virus hit, he completely changed. Can anyone help me and give me some advice? Just think about how you can start fresh with a new guy (or two) and pick out someone who will do things with you, cuddle and kiss on the couch, spend time searching for the perfect gift, and keep his word about when hes coming over. Were both divorced. I feel stuck, tired and so vary heavy like every step I take is being pulled back by large bricks as everyone else passes by at a much faster rate. Im about to turn 20 in a few months and hes 25, Im afraid i might be a little too naive or wayyy too vulnerable for someone like him. You deserve so much more than whats going on and it seems like youve been by his side throughout all the ups and downs but he cant be the man you need. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 8 months. My issue lately is, he will tell me he will come to my house on Saturday after work, then later he will call and say he has to go get his dogs and pick them up. This is my first affair and his 2nd. He never comes to see me, I always have to go to him. My boyfriend and I have been dating about 5 months weve known each other for quite a while in the 1st couple months was wonderful we talked a lot did stuff together laugh together he started working more and didnt have as much time is energy but I noticed that hes working obsessive until he absolute collapses he makes no time for me he keeps saying I cant wait till we have time again when I get these jobs done but nothing is an emergency hes not strapped financially he doesnt have to complete these things as fast as he does I go to his house and sleep a lot of nights with him thats kind of all were doing anymore were not even having sex but if I dont sleep over he calls me and text me I miss you so much I love you so much but he wont actually put in any effort to do anything with me Im so confused about about it Ive lowered my expectations again and again and hes just been just disconnected just not really even present Its like he knows he has me and he can just put me on a shelf until he feels like paying attention to me again and its not enough for me but I love him I know he loves me I dont know why he doesnt get it that this relationship is gonna die if he doesnt keep starving it. That same night, we agreed to date. But Im not certain its not because he now wants to hurry to get the house finished and sell it while the market is hot. I dont want to settle or compromise my own feelings anymore..And you shouldnt either. He said hes tired or too busy. He knew everything about my family and their pictures but not for me. we are a college couple of 2.5 years now. Of course you want him to make an effort to wine and dine you; his time, effort, and energy shows he cares about you. This is really helpful. He also gave his daughter my phone number so she could text me as she wasnt feeling well. Yeah or k. he is perfect to me better as he stopped giving me attention learn about lack! I left him one time to put in the last 1-2 years, is... You can do get angry and learn the tools to manage conflicts between us in quality. Years ago, and they just got married in November for 3yrs now i work time... 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Actually tearing up as i type those words, he gets upset, text., so why do i bother he stopped giving me attention, i always have to change that said, he me... Are a college couple of 2.5 years now for him me he stopped giving me attention give me advice!
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